Sunday, 23 February 2020 04:55

Okon explores Boxers’ Uprising in Yoruba land - Tatalo Alamu

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And whilst we are still on the issue of the desecration of our values and institutions by politics, it is meet to report on even more ominous developments. The chickens are coming home to roost faster than we expect. It is not possible to harvest yams after you have planted cassava. In the ever turbulent and politically combustible west, it does appear as if the Amotekun Revolt will be accompanied by the Yoruba equivalent of the Boxers’ Uprising.

The week began with the news making the round that a prominent Oba in Osun State has beaten his royal colleague in the same domain to a pulp at a peace meeting and in full view of a serving Assistant Inspector General of Police who had facilitated the meeting in the first instance. It was reported that the meeting was called to avert bloodshed over the ceaseless and unregulated sale of land by the royal fathers. But blood flowed before palm wine could flow.

As if this was not enough “Iroyin Kayefi”, the week climaxed with a viral video of another prominent Oba, this time in Lagos State, being publicly disgraced and humiliated by touts and area boys over a land dispute. Kabiyesi eventually took to his heels with his assailants in hot pursuit. The irony was that he knew the chief culprit by name as he repeatedly called out the name in royal consternation. But this was not going to faze the chap who rained foul imprecations on absconding royalty.

Just as the week was going into final recess a mysterious video surfaced of a very angry young boxer obviously of Yoruba extraction threatening fire and brimstone over the mismanagement of sports particularly prize boxing in the country. The irate youth threatened to knock out any boxing official who came near him even as he virtually renounced his Nigerian nationality.

Echoes of the Boxers’ uprising, or is it Simon and Garfunkel? The obaship institution in the old west has taken quite a pounding in recent times. Some rascals, reprobates and rogues have found their way into royal plumage in obvious contradiction of a Yoruba saying that you cannot procure the title of a strongman with monetary inducements.

Unless there is urgent reform of the vexed issue of landed property particularly among the Yoruba people which takes into consideration the complex history of the people, the diluted feudalism and the growing awareness among the people that the authority of the Oba flows from secular laws and not divine rule, land racketeering is going to destroy the royal institution in the land of Oodua.

As snooper was pondering these ominous developments and their implications for a sacred Yoruba institution that is the envy of even some western societies not to talk of neighbouring nationalities, Okon suddenly barged in dressed like an Omdurman dervish complete with dark goggles and a carved walking stick to match. From his devilish smiles and cynical giggles, it was clear that the errant clown was up to something sinister.

“Oga, I wan quickly reach dem Yoruba town near Ibadan where dem dey dispose dem Tyson Fury oba after he come finis dem other oba for two fighting. Oga na real helele. Dem blow dey come like dem Obudu thunder. He don reach my family turn. Sikira mother na princess for dem place”, the mad boy jeered.

“Okon, you better stop putting your useless mouth in a matter beyond your ancestors’ ken. Since when have they started making kukuruku touts like you Yoruba oba?” snooper screamed at the mad fellow.

“Ha oga, all dat na yeye grammar. Abi no be dem thin we dey say? Even if say na gogodogo dem make king, him no go behave like dat boy”, the mad boy shot back.

“My God, has it come to this in Yoruba land?“ snooper mused in wounded self-regard.

“Oga, dem one dat laugh me pass na dem other oba. Him come give small boy dirty slap and small boy come reply am gbua. Baba come run to him car. I think say na ogbonge juju him go bring but na yeye phone baba come bring, so dem small boy hit am again gbigi and baba come pick race. Dem Yoruba say goat wey run from fight na power him go get but baba take style comot dem place. And him sabi dem boy well well because him dey scream, Shina, Shina!!! Juju no dey work again”, the mad boy sniggered.

It was at this point that snooper aimed an idle shoe at the boy’s cranium.


The Nation