Sunday, 19 January 2025 04:22

3 reasons it's hard to make friends as you get older

Rate this item
(0 votes)

When I first moved to New York City, it took me about a year to find close friends. The first 12 months I said “yes” to every invitation and then wondered why I didn’t find most of those hangouts that fulfilling. 

It turns out there could be a very simple explanation as to why these meetups didn’t net deeper connections. In order for friendships to work, three conditions need to exist, Mel Robbins, author of “The Let Them Theory,” recently told Jay Shetty on his podcast On Purpose. 

1. Proximity: To become someone’s friend, seeing them consistently needs to be easy. Today more than half, 58%, of Americans don’t live near or in the community where they grew up, according to data from Pew Research Center. So, many friendships they had growing up are harder to maintain. Even when I’d meet a like-minded person at a NYC party, the friendship would flounder if they lived more than a half hour away on the subway.

2. Timing: The older you get, the more people you’ll meet who are in various phases of life. “Everybody’s on different timelines,” Robbins said. “Some of your friends are getting married. Some are going to graduate school. Some are now pursuing jobs.” Finding friends who face the same hurdles and hit the same milestones as you makes it easier to connect.

3. Energy: If your values don’t align, it’s hard to maintain a bond. “You can have fantastic energy with somebody, and then if you decide you’re not drinking anymore, the energy is off,” Robbins said. “If you decide to get really focused on fitness, the energy is off. If you have very different political beliefs, the energy is off.”

When an adult friendship fizzles, it’s usually because one or more of these conditions aren’t met. “You can’t force those things,” Robbins said. 

While I wish I’d had this insight when I was 22, I’m grateful to have it now. As I move into the next phases of my life, it’ll be easier to accept that some connections will be easier to maintain than others, and it’s best not to take it personally.

 

CNBC

February 06, 2025

IBM exits Nigeria, others; transfers operations to another company

International Business Machines (IBM) Corporation, an American multinational technology company, has announced plans to exit…
February 01, 2025

Tinubu targeting opposition, not corruption — Atiku

Former Vice President and Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) presidential candidate, Atiku Abubakar, has criticized the…
February 02, 2025

Moving away from BMI, experts propose a new definition for obesity

A group of global experts is proposing a new way to define and diagnose obesity,…
February 01, 2025

Humans to compete against humanoid robots at half-marathon

China’s capital city of Beijing is all set to host an interesting half-marathon that will…
February 03, 2025

Gunmen kill 10 in attack on Ebonyi community – Police

The Ebonyi State Police Command has confirmed the killing of 10 people in an attack…
February 06, 2025

Here’s the latest as Israel-Hamas war enters Day 489

Arab American, Muslim leaders decry Trump comments on Gaza U.S. Arab American and Muslim leaders,…
February 03, 2025

OpenAI introduces new AI tool to assist in research tasks

Leading generative artificial intelligence company OpenAI unveiled a new AI tool on Sunday named "Deep…
January 08, 2025

NFF appoints new Super Eagles head coach

The Nigeria Football Federation (NFF) has appointed Éric Sékou Chelle as the new Head Coach…

NEWSSCROLL TEAM: 'Sina Kawonise: Publisher/Editor-in-Chief; Prof Wale Are Olaitan: Editorial Consultant; Femi Kawonise: Head, Production & Administration; Afolabi Ajibola: IT Manager;
Contact Us: [email protected] Tel/WhatsApp: +234 811 395 4049

Copyright © 2015 - 2025 NewsScroll. All rights reserved.